One hell of a freaking miracle
by teslasward
Summary: It's been a few weeks since Ian left and although on the surface Mickey seems fine, he's torn up inside. Even though Ian's not back, Mickey's life starts to turn around a bit when he wakes up to find a note in his bed.
1. Chapter 1

**One hell of a fucking miracle**

It'd been a few weeks since Gallagher had left. Publically, Mickey was able to play it off like everything was hunky dory and he was happy as hell with his pregnant wife. Privately, he was still as devastated as the day the ginger had left him, had left everything to, as Lip had so eloquently put it, 'get his ass shot off in who-gives-a-fuckistan.' Sure, he'd had Mandy to talk to now on the rare occasion that Terry was gone and they were home alone without one of the other stooges around, but that didn't make losing Ian any easier. The Gallagher clan was in a fucking frenzy still looking for him, still hoping he hadn't gone through with it, but all their searching so far had turned up nada.

That morning, Mickey woke up to an empty bed as usual, but something was off. It wasn't by any stretch of the imagination out of the ordinary for Svetlana to be off selling handies at 9AM, but it was strange that she'd left a note. She never left a note.

_Mickey, _

_I am sorry, but I go. This morning I lost baby, I had to run. I know if Terry catched me, he kill me. I know you not love me, and I am sorry you had to marry me, but baby gone, so I gone. I made note for Terry so he know, but it say something different. It say only I lost baby, but not rest that I know you no love me, because he kill you if I say that. Serina maked divorce paper from internet, I sign all so you free. Marriage not marriage any more._

_до свидания,_

_Светлана_

As soon as he finished reading the note, he broke into a cold sweat, unable to say anything. Wiping his brow, he looked under the crinkled note to find all the papers she'd mentioned, signed, sealed and dated. In his 4 weeks of marriage, Mickey never had felt closer to really _wanting_ to hug or kiss his wife. He looked at the manila envelope and kissed it. She'd saved him. It was pure dumb luck that she'd miscarried, but he wasn't questioning it for a second.

He jumped up from the bed, carefully tucking the papers into his underwear in case Terry was home and put an ear to the door to listen for Terry's drunken ass stumbling around. When the coast seemed clear, he rushed over to Mandy's room to tell her the news. Without even knocking, he burst through the door coming across Mandy sleeping pretty much naked on her weather-beaten mattress. She was listening to music through one earbud, heard him barge in and turned, covering herself with a blanket and shouted.

"Ever heard of knocking fuckface? I thought we established some pretty fucking crystal clear rules after all the times I've walked in on you fucking wacking it."

She noticed the bulge of the envelope in his sweats, laughing almost, "What happened Mick? The Blue Fairy come and grant your wish of having a 10 inch cock?"

He shut the door behind him and rushed over to the bed. "Shut the fuck up." A punch nailed her in the arm and he lowered his voice. The envelope was pulled carefully out of his waistband with the note in tow. "I found this this morning when I woke up. It's from Svetlana." He handed her the note and she scanned it quickly, smirking when she reached the end.

"Well I'll be damned. You are one lucky little SOB." She playfully shoved him, smirking darkly, "a lucky SOB with a little help."

Mickey raised an eyebrow skeptically and the smirk disappeared from his face. "The fuck you talking about?"

She leaned back and stretched her arms over her head, yawning, before pulling the covers over her exposed breasts again. "Do you want the bullshit answer or the 200 proof?"

"200 proof. No bullshit, what do you know?" He was clearly serious and worried about the horrible things Mandy might have done to Svetlana to get her to leave. "Please tell me you didn't run her over like that bitch Karen."

Mandy laughed. "No assface. I learned my lesson with that one."

He smirked and raised an eyebrow before continuing with feigned enthusiasm, "Oh really? What lesson was that? Don't run over your enemies with vehicles unless you're sure it will kill them with no evidence?"

"Well yeah, that's a given, but I didn't run your little wifey over with the Mercury."

"Then what the hell did you do to her to get her to leave and lie and say she miscarried?"

Mandy scoffed, "Oh that wasn't a lie. I saw that shit this morning."

Mickey rubbed his fingers on his temples and continued, "Alright gonna try to block that mental image out of my mind forever. Anyway, I still don't fucking see how that has anything to do with you."

She rolled her eyes, "Alright, I guess I'm gonna have to fucking spell it out for you because you're clearly a fucking idiot."

"Hey, hey."

"Oh calm down Ira, I'm kidding….kind of." She laughed before leaning over to her book bag tossed carelessly on the ground. Reaching inside she pulled out a little pill bottle. It was empty. "You know Johnny Totenheimer? The loser you gave atomic wedgies to in middle school? Curly hair, coke bottle glasses?"

"Sorta rings a bell."

"Yeah well he works over at the clinic downtown. I gave him a few hummers and rocked his little virgin world, he swiped some pills from the doc's stocks. Abortion pills. He got me some of those babies, pun intended, I crushed that shit up and put it in Svetlana's eggs last Friday, Sunday and Monday and Presto! Baby-B-Gone."

Mickey couldn't believe his ears. He always knew Mandy was a little off, which to be quite frank, was to be expected of a Milkovich, but first running over Karen Jackson and now making Svetlana miscarry to get her out of here? She was turning into a vicious little bitch, not that he was complaining.

He scratched his head and a few dandruff flakes floated down onto the comforter, "So let me get this straight. You spiked my wife's food with abortion drugs to make her shit the fetus out?"

Mandy nodded, "Yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it."

Mickey chuckled and shook his head, "Yeah, remind me not to piss you off. I don't want to wake up with my balls cut off and shoved down my throat."

Playing along, she feigned surprise, "Damn, that was my next big plan too. Now I'll have to stick to giving the sluts in my English class Ex-Lax.."

"You're a fucking psychopath, but you won't hear any complaints from me."

Just then, they heard a pounding on the door.

"Mandy! Open up, it's Lip. I need to tell you something. It's about Ian."

They shared a look. Mickey started getting up to run to the door, but Mandy caught him, "Assface, do you want him to know?"

He shrugged and shook her off, "Bitch, you know he already knows. Ian tells that asshole everything. No use playing pretend if we all know what's up. Let's go see what the douchebag has to say. If he pisses us off, I punch him. Okay?"

Mandy smirked, "He looks better with bruises anyway."

"Oy vey, you're a fucking piece of work."

Lip pounded on the door again. "Come on, I know you're in there. Get the fuck out here."


	2. Chapter 2

Mandy had already started making her way to the door, but Mickey made a stop by his room to grab the family slugger. Mandy noticed and said, "The fuck are you doing?"

With the bat in hand, Mickey smirked, "Just gotta be ready to send a message if I need to."

She rolled her eyes and dragged him over to the door, ripping it open to see a frantic, out of breath Lip. It looked like he'd made the mad dash all the way from the Gallagher house a few blocks over. Before she got a chance to say anything, Mickey took charge.

"The fuck you want Lip?" He bit his lip, brandishing the bat next to his leg while leaning against the door frame.

Lip paused for a second, "Nice to see you too Mick. Anyway, I came here because we just got a call….from Charles M. Price Army Base down by St. Louis. Apparently, my brother used my ID to get into the military."

Mandy and Mickey shared a worried glance.

"Okay, and what the fuck does that mean?", she said with all of the apathy she could feign.

Lip sighed, before inhaling deeply. "It means, he fucked up. Big time. "

Mickey jumped in, "So how big are we talking? Like Bernie Madoff big or some Martha Stewart look at me I fucked with my taxes shit?"

"Dishonorable discharge. He's getting sent packing. Can't apply to go into the military himself ever. Thankfully, Fi was able to talk down the General dude on the phone and get Ian juvie and community service for a while rather than jail time. She played the 'he's just a fucking idiot kid' card and thankfully it worked." Lip was shuffling uncomfortably on the porch, looking down at his shoes and then scanning the Milkovichs' faces for a reaction.

It took Mick and Mandy a few seconds to process what Lip had just told them, so when he got impatient and said, "Say something!", Mandy had to jump in to prevent Mickey from kicking the ever-loving shit out of him.

She leaned up against the doorframe, "So let me get this straight….Ian can't ever go into the military now?"

Lip sighed, "Yeah pretty much. Unless they fucking lift the dishonorable discharge, he can't even reapply once he's actually legal."

Mickey took a drag from the cigarette he'd just lit and mumbled, "So how'd they catch Fi-….. him?"

"Fucker didn't even think they'd do a background check before he got cleared for the real start of basic. As soon as my priors popped up, they fingerprinted him and checked it against my records. I'm sure the 'NO MATCH' message went over about as well as a loud fart in church. Listen, I'd love to stay and chit chat with you two, but I gotta get back."

With that, Lip jumped down off the front porch and dashed down the road in the direction of the Gallagher house.

Once he was comfortably out of earshot, Mandy looked at Mickey and smirked wildly. "C'mon asshole. Lip's gone. No need to keep up the hardass face. I know inside you were probably like a fucking kid on Christmas when you heard that he's coming back."

He wiped a little bit of a tear from his eyes which were now puffy and red, "Shut the fuck up and come back inside before you freeze your tits off."

"Jeez, I'm just trying to lighten things up." She frowned at him, "I'm going to go over and see if I can help with anything. Have fun brooding around like one of those emo freaks from My Chemical Romance or some shit." As she ran off to follow Lip, she flipped Mickey off with both hands.

With everyone else gone, Mickey made his way back to his room and collapsed onto the bed. He took another hard look at the forms in his hand and the note before tossing them aside. He should have been ecstatic. He should have been fucking singing from the mountaintops like Julie Andrews or some shit, but there were two problems with that. One, he'd probably rather get caught mid-thrust with Ian again before entertaining the idea of watching a musical and Two, he couldn't be happy knowing that Ian's dream was just fucking smashed to bits.

He sprung up and ran over to his dresser. Opening the top drawer, he pushed the boxers and socks aside, and jiggled it a bit to loosen the paper covering the plywood bottom of the drawer. Reaching in, he pulled out something from between the paper and plywood. Nobody knew he had, and he was hellbent and determined on keeping it that way. It was a picture, a shitty little 3"x5" of him and Ian's little league team. It had to have been taken when they were 7 and 9 respectively. Ian was short, kinda squat and actually smaller than Mickey. He looked like one big freckle with hair and eyes, but the grin was the same, the same one Mickey knew and loved. "You fucking idiot. You really screwed the pooch this time." The picture was soon back in its hiding place and the boxers and socks carefully thrown all over to conceal it.

That night when Terry returned from "work" aka the closest dollar strip club he could find, he stumbled upon Svetlana's note. Mickey was in the other room, but he could hear everything. "Fuckin' ungrateful Russian bitch! She probably aborted the fucking thing to get out of here. When I get my hands on her, I'm gonna fucking use her as bait for the dogfights over at O'Malleys. She's fucking dead."

Mickey almost felt sorry for Svetlana. It was a really odd sensation considering how much he'd grown to hate her since the day Terry had called her over to _fuck the faggot_ out of him, but in hindsight, she probably wanted to do it as little as he did. If she didn't fuck him, Terry would have shot her on the spot and sent her back to the spa in a body bag. He was just grateful that his sister had found some twisted fucking way to spare him and Svetlana a life of hell.

Terry burst into his room, "Did you fucking see this shit?" he screamed, pointing to the letter in his hand, "that little cunt killed your son and my grandson and fucking ran." Mickey knew he had to play along and not let on that she'd left him a note too.

"That fucking bitch. Guess it's a good thing that cunt left me these in bed this morning when I woke up. Now I can divorce her ass. None of that shit up in here. I want a piece of the action when you get your hands on her." That was a lie, but a necessary one.

Terry scowled, "Resourceful little whore. She must have had this all planned out. If I catch her, no _when_ I catch her, you get front row seats to see her get torn apart by the dogs." He laughed cruelly, "I'm sure they boys will be tossing money at me to let the Rotties go to town on her skinny little ass. Go to Father Hannigan, show him that shit and tear up that marriage certificate. No commie slut is going to ruin the Milkovich reputation. Now get the fuck out of here."

All it took was 3 signatures, two stamps, and 10 bucks and his marriage was as good as done. Before Ian left, Mickey'd have been using this as an excuse to let things go back to the way they were: a good fuck now and again, nothing more than that. He wished he could believe himself saying that Ian was just a good fuck, but that was a blatant fucking lie. These past few months since he'd gotten out of juvie shot that theory down _hard_. Mickey had fucking kissed Ian, unprompted. At the wedding, he almost blurted out that he felt the same way, he almost was ready to give it all up for him, and when Ian was in the doorway, turning to leave, he almost was able to finish his sentence, _Don't…..just don't_ with _go, please_, but he couldn't get it out. The old Mickey Milkovich, the one who went to hunt down Gallagher for knocking up Mandy, would probably look at him, laugh and fag bash the hell out of him. Mickey hated it, but somewhere, deep down, he'd begun to accept what Ian had been saying all along.

Now he had an opportunity, a chance, a fresh start, but would he royally fuck it up like every other aspect of his life thus far?


	3. Chapter 3

Mickey woke up that morning calmly for the first time in weeks. It might have been that he wasn't sleeping in his ratty-ass sleeping bag atop the mattress covered in Svetlana's pink comforters and shit, or the fact that he'd just dodged the biggest bullet in history without doing much more than signing some papers and scratching his balls while trying to figure it all out.

He sprung up out of bed, sauntered over to the mountain of laundry on the other side of the room. Reaching down and digging, he searched through the pile until he found a shirt and jeans that smelled a little less like week-old jockstrap than the others and pulled them on. Even with some clothes that were "clean" by Milkovich standards, he wasn't all that motivated to get going, but that all changed when he caught of whiff of bacon.

Mandy was in the kitchen cooking up some discount bacon from the 7-11 on the corner of Park ave when she heard Mickey practically galloping across the floor in her direction.

"And Gollum emerges from his cave…" quipped jokingly, tossing him a plate of bacon and eggs.

"Eh, fuck you. I'd rather look like Gollum than you," he said taking a few bites of the food before noticing how close Mandy was to the knife drawer, "Kidding, kidding."

She leaned up on the counter and smirked, "You better be." After scraping the remaining bacon and eggs onto her own plate, she plopped down at the table next to him. By no means was he a gracious eater, heck sometimes Mandy wondered if he was even a human eater, but seeing him devouring food was better than seeing Mick mope around all.

"So what's on the agenda today? Scratch your ass, masturbate, eat, and frighten small children?"

He looked up, finished chewing what was in his mouth and swallowed the huge amount of food, smirking. "Nah, you see today's Tuesday Mand. I thought by now you'd know my schedule. Scratching my balls and scaring the neighbor kids is for Wednesday."

"Smart ass."

"Hey, I'll accept the first half of that. I am pretty bright." He stuck his fork into the eggs proud of his snark, it was rare to be so on-point.

"I wasn't aware 2 Watts counted as bright."

He raised his hands in surrender, "Okay, I admit you got me beat on that one," he laughed.

They sat in silence for few second after the laughter died out with both siblings playing with their eggs like uncomfortable 5 year olds. Finally, he continued, "I gotta run over to the county office and hand over the divorce papers today and….," he paused, leaving the sentence unfinished.

"And what? The office is right over on Lakeside."

"And I was going to …uh…maybe…you know," he said while explicitly dodging eye contact, scratching his head and biting his lower lip, "go over to juvie." His voice dropped off on those last four words. It was still incredibly odd being open with anybody, especially a member of his family with going to see Ian.

"You want me to come with you so it looks less gay?," she asked flatly with a mouthful of food.

He looked up at her question with some sense of unfamiliar shock, "Uh..I guess," the moment of insecurity passed and he tried to recover his machismo, " I mean you can come if you want to, I don't give a fuck."

She rolled her eyes and looked at him skeptically, "Really? You're still trying to keep that shit up? I saw you cry over him. Like it or not, I know he's got you by the balls."

She took the silence that followed as confirmation, "Thought so."

Mickey dropped his fork and knife. "Would you please stop acting like you're fucking some Scooby-Doo psychic? It gets pretty fucking annoying, pretty fucking fast. I appreciate the sudden wave of concern since you found out, but it's fucking weird."

She looked down and bit the corner of her mouth. It was true, regardless of how stupid it sounded. She'd been a lot more invested than usual in the goings on of Mick's life since finding out about him and Ian. There wasn't a reason she could pinpoint, it was just the whole situation made Mickey seem a bit more sympathetic than the farting, dirty dwarf she was used to. "You go. He's in the one over on the other side of town, no one will see you there. If they do, they're North Side wimps more likely than not anyway. "

He nodded in thanks. As he got up to head out she called after him. "Hey assface, take this. Might be useful." She tossed him a butterfly knife. "Got it off Gabe Cochran the other day in exchange for a handie in the bathroom. Pretty good deal if you ask me."

A smirk crawled across his face as he pocketed the knife. "Catch ya later."

Mickey pushed open the glass pane doors to the county clerk's office and heard the bell ring. A large woman with too much foundation on walked out of the back with a cup of coffee in hand and gave him a once-over before taking a seat behind the counter.

"Can I help you?" she said ambivalently.

Mickey didn't realize she was talking to him and not the dude rocking in the corner with his dog.

"Sir?" she said more firmly, "Can I help you?"

He spun around and pointed to his chest. She nodded and beckoned him over.

"What are you here for today?"

Reaching into his back pocket he pulled out the creased forms and laid them on the counter. "Divorce papers. Signed, Sealed, Dated."

She reached over and grabbed the folded mess of a pile and glanced through at the the contents. "Hmm, wow can't even tell you how rare it is to get someone coming in with all the stuff done. Must have been pretty bad."

She was clearly fishing for some gossip to spice up the day and he still needed to rant a bit. "Married her because my dad set it up after she found out she was preggo. We got married, she miscarried, fled my dad, I'm just trying to move on. Happy?"

Tapping and pressing the papers into a manila folder as neatly as possible, the woman looked at him and nodded, "Oh I'm so sorry, that's terrible." he couldn't tell if it was genuine sympathy or not, but he was beyond the point of caring. She clicked and typed and printed something before turning back to him, "Well, you're all set. The court date will get to you by mail. If she doesn't show, you get to decide the terms. Next!," she shouted beyond him.

With that taken care of, Mickey was en route to juvie, but not the one he'd be tossed into a few times over the past couple of years. He'd had to walk through part of the nicer end of town to get there because it was quicker than waiting for the El to make a near full loop. As he was passing by the hospital he heard rushed footsteps and a voice behind him, "Hey, hey, wait up."

As he turned to see who the hell was yelling after him, he palmed the butterfly knife in his pocket Mandy had given him, but it was unnecessary. It was Ned, Lloyd, whatever the fuck his name was.

Part of him just wanted to kick the old dude's ass right there, but he owed him for digging the bullet pieces out of his asscheek not too long ago.

"Well, look who it is." He smirked, "If it isn't the guy whose ass I dug a bullet out of. What are you doing in this part of town?"

Mickey pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, taking a deep drag before answering, "The fuck's it matter to you?"

Ned rolled his eyes and took a sip of his coffee, "Nice to see your manners have improved since last time. How's Ian?"

He was silent. "I don't have time for this. Later Ned. Oh," Mickey paused and smirked, "and don't forget to go pick up your Viagra. I'm sure you'll need it later when you're thinkin' about getting fucked by a teenager." Before Ned had a chance to respond, Mickey had already turned tail and continued on his way.


End file.
